this is probably really really late, but i have moved to
daz(zl)ed
feel free to come over :)

an everlasting obsession

as you may already know, one of my life goals is to have every single book in the Baby-sitters Club series.

what?
what do you mean you don't know that series?
did you live under a rock during the 1990's?

because i'm too lazy to explain what they're all about, and there's hundreds of the books in the series, you can easily google it if you don't know the awesomeness that is BSC (that's short for Baby-sitters Club, in case you can't figure that out).

i am pleased to say that there's a new BSC book coming out, after the series supposedly ended in 2000 (which i still haven't found the last book anywhere!). this new book is a prequel (i can't seem to understand why prequels are all the rage now), and it's called the Summer Before.

since sadly, as my brother informed me, Amazon.com doesn't send books to Indonesia (what's up with that, Amazon? i am heartbroken), i have lost all hope in completing my BSC collection.
when i get lucky, i sometimes could find a couple used ones when i hunt for books in Singapore, but that rarely happens.
and so, you can imagine my delight when the announcement of the prequel coming out, plus the reprinting of series.

plus, my brother said he's going to try and order some books from Amazon to be sent to Japan, where he currently lives, and he said i could order books from him.

i'm compiling my list.

why i will never be a neurosurgeon, or psychiatrist, or...

you have been warned. this will not be pretty, as i find myself more things to rant about in this blog than to cheer for.

so. here i am in the middle of med school and not knowing what to do with my life.
seriously.
when all of my friends are excitedly planning about which hospital they want to co-ass in, because this hospital is (allegedly) more high-pressure, because that hospital (allegedly) teaches you good skills more and so on, i am just interested in which hospital is the most laid-back, therefore makes my top choices to co-ass in.

i just don't see the point in honing my clinical skills much more since i don't, and never had, plan to be a practicing physician.
really, i could assure you that overall, i don't have decent math skills. if you really knew me, you would never trust me to count how much medicine you'd have to take for your life-threatening disease.

this world would surely be a better place without having me as a, say, neurosurgeon. based on the C i got in neurology, i'm pretty sure my lecturers agree with me. (for those of you questioning my intellectual capacities of being in med school in the first place, i can assure you that a C is the worst grade i ever got, in ANYTHING. except that D i got in seventh grade on Sundanese language. but whatever.)

the thing is, i don't know what i'm good at.
i'm not able to decide whether i would be good as an internist, or gynecologist, or whatever. and since something you are good at is called your 'talent', then i don't know what my talent is.

i may have posted something like this before but whatever.

and so you ask, well if you can't figure out what specialization of doctors you would be good at, why not be a general practicioner?
well, judging as how i would not be able to correctly measure out your medicine, i am sure the whole practicing thing is out for me.

at one point, i thought being a surgeon would be neat. except a neurosurgeon, of course, because of that C i got. but then i thought about having to go out of the super cool operating room and meet the patient's family and friends and say, "i did this and that but i'm sorry to say that he/she passed away." and watch all of them cry in front of me.

i think i would stab myself in the eye with my scalpel.

so, i decided many more people are more emotionally capable of being a surgeon than i am. and that the reason why i ever thought being a surgeon was neat is because i watch too many medical dramas on TV.

at another point, i thought being a psychiatrist would also be neat. this is because i love reading (and watching) about all those supposedly rare psychological cases that cause people to do crazy things. but then i think of the calm and empathy i have to project towards my patients, even when they may be cheating husbands who killed their kids or something like that, being a psychiatrist suddenly doesn't sound so neat.

so really i do still prefer to be a forensic medical doctor, who's job is to mainly find out how people die. dead people are much more tolerant to whatever mistake you might do to their body, for example living people would very much object to you lifting out their lungs to measure it whereas dead people would not sue you for it.

i can't see why people reject autopsies because they feel it is disrespectful to the dead. i mean, they're dead. they have no more petty problems like having killers roam the streets we live on. and by having autopsies on them we can possibly find those killers, if they happen to be killed by the killers, and put them behind bars where they belong so little kids can happily play safely outside their house.

anyways.
yeah, about the forensic thing. still my dream.
don't know if i'll be good in that either but at least it's better than the previous choices i wrote. plus i read a lot of crime and mystery books and i love them, so that should account for something.

ah, what a turning revelation in my planning for future careers.
this post has earned a new label: med school mellows.

back?

so.. am i back to blogging?
i'm so moody, i have no clue.

so what really made me come back to this sad, old, abandoned blog?

i have been told recently that i need to let out more emotions, so here i am.
and anyone who says this isn't letting out emotions can shut up.
anyways.
this post will be a jumble of things that are not connected to each other.

first up, things i see on the road on a daily basis that i do not understand.
smashing title.

1. when the left side of the road is empty, why do people on motorcycles still calmly ride in the middle of the road? are they ASKING to be crashed by the cars behind them? *grumble grumble*

2. when a couple rides a motorcycle with a little kid squashed in the middle or front, most of the time i see the couple wearing helmets but none on the kid. what's up with that? if they crash, the 'parents' or whatever could walk away without a concussion, but then the kid gets brain damage. sorry, i just don't get it.

3. a car (so it's not all motorcycles) opens up a window and then throws trash out to the road. what, you can afford a car but you can't afford a little trash can in it? or, can't you just collect the trash and wait a bit to dispose properly when you arrive at wherever you're going? imagine if a hundred people do this a day. hello, flood.

4. a couple rides a motorcycle and it's raining. the guy wears a raincoat and the girl doesn't! she's soaking wet! and it's most likely a couple because the girl clings the guy romantically from behind. i'm sorry but i cannot see the romance in this. my boyfriend would never let me walk out in the rain without an umbrella, let alone be soaked on a motorcycle. with HIM driving (or whatever you call it on a motorcycle) nonetheless.

ah. well.
i'm hungry now so toodles!

what friends are for

well, ga kerasa udah 3 tahun kuliah, never thought that things could change a lot in 3 years.
khususnya di departemen pertemanan.

dari awalll banget kuliah, gue punya sekelompok temen deket yang selalu bareng2.
seiring berjalannya waktu sampe akhirnya di tahun ketiga ini, banyak yang berubah di kelompok ini.
ada yang dateng, ada yang pergi, ada yang udah pergi tapi balik lagi, dll.

gue merasa teman2 ini lah yang bakal bertahan, suka ato ga, karna mau ga mau kita bakalan satu profesi. kita akan terikat dengan pekerjaan yang sama sampai tua nanti. kita akan saling membutuhkan pendapat yang lain kalo ketemu kasus yang butuh second opinion.
jadi, gue jaga hubungan baik sebisa mungkin. i always try to be nice.

but then, pelan2, muncul sifat asli masing2.
ada yang berubah jd lebih baik, ada yang stagnan sifatnya begitu2 aja.

belakangan ini, pelan-pelan kebersamaan dlm kelompok ini jadi berubah dibanding tahun2 pertama kuliah..
banyak yang sibuk sama kegiatan masing2 yang udah beda2,
ada yang konflik sama temen dlm kelompok ini juga,
ada yang baru gabung,
ada yang pisah,
dll.

but personally, i don't think that it's a bad thing.
justru waktu yang udah lewat ini, dengan berbagai persoalan yang ada, nunjukkin mana yang bener2 teman dan mana yang, well, temen juga sih judulnya, tapi ikatan emosionalnya ga seberapa dalam.
we were all giggly teenagers when we met, and we've all grown up now, jadi seiring tambah dewasa pasti kepribadian kita juga ikut berubah, yang pengaruh ke hubungan kita sama orang lain, apalagi temen.

jujur, gue merasa masih ada temen2 yang berteman masih sama aja kayak dulu waktu sekolah, mau udah kuliah 3 tahun juga.
kalo ada konflik, ngajak2 orang lain buat ikut musuhin.
kalo temen punya konflik sama orang lain, ngompor2in temen itu buat makin musuhan.
kalo ada masalah, kurang bisa milah2 mana yang emang harus diperkarakan dan mana yang harus dilepas aja.
and i'm fed up with that.

apa teman itu cuma orang buat have fun bareng, dan kalo orang itu udah ga bikin fun, ya ga jadi temen?
buat gue, bukan itu artinya.

and so, to avoid all the drama that has happened, i came up with a simple rule for myself.
selama seorang 'teman' ga punya masalah secara pribadi sama gue, i will always stay nice.
i will always help as i can if they need me.
meskipun orang itu musuhan sama temen gue yang lain.
meskipun orang2 bilang temen gue itu bermasalah, bilang gue untuk jauhin dia, dsb.
selama dia ga buat masalah ke gue secara langsung, gue akan berbuat yang sama.
fair-fair-an aja.

if all else fails, yang penting gue tau yang mana yang bener2 temen gue.
and they know who they are.

what friends are for, for me, is an extension of your family.
people who will accept you and help you back up again, how badly you've acted to them or fell.
people who doesn't think of what they can get back by helping you.
people who stand by you but still keeps you in line.
yang lain dari itu, well, they're still called friends.
like in families, it doesn't mean you have to like each and every one of your family members all the time.
sama, walau namanya temen, it doesn't mean you have to like each and every one of them all the time.
liking them most of the time is good enough to be friends for me.

what do friends mean to you?

a cat called Maru

i realized that even though i haven't updated my blog that much, i still love reading other people's blogs, so this is my attempt to keep this blogging thing up and running.

because i am a boring person, and therefore have nothing interesting to talk about, i will talk about another being, a more interesting one.
a cat, to be exact. (i didn't mean that to rhyme, really.)

my family has a cat. a fat, gray, one we named Maru, which is japanese for 'round'. because he looked like a cute cotton ball when he was an itsy, bitsy kitten.
we got him from my cousin's boyfriend, when he was only 2 months old.
now he's about 7 months old, i can't really remember, but he's bigger and fatter than a 1,5 year old cat.

he struts around the house like he owns us all, which i guess in a way he really does, because despite all the annoying things he's done (like, peeing all over the place), we still love him. most of the time.

here's an example of how Maru acts when i confront him of his disturbing doings.

"ugh, these humans! i just can't stand them!"
(shakes head in frustration)

"what now, stupid human?
how dare you stand like that in front of me!
bow to my greatness!"

"good, human. much better.
now, what is it that you want?
a treat for me, i assume?
no? you're asking me if i peed on that pillow?
hmmm.. let me think about it."

"obviously i am of complete innocence.
maybe YOU are the one who peed on that pillow.
i'm bored now, go away.
stupid human."

you can see, arrogant he may be, we cannot help but fall weakly to his amazing power of cuteness.
i have a lot of weird stories about Maru, more to come.
i have to post this before he finds out and then i'll have to give him kitty massages in slavery for the rest of my life.

a lot of junk in the trunk

i haven't written anything in this blog for so long!!
i know, i'm such a lazy bum.
i actually do have a whole lot of things to write, but i'm currently in exams week, so this'll have to wait a couple more days.
i'll see you really really soon! i promise!

the big two-oh

well well well. long time no see, eh?
sorry i neglected this blog for a while, hehe.
i decided to jump back in to blogging.
because these past time when i wasn't blogging, things were crazy.
and i mean, CRAZY.

last semester of med school was hell.
it was probably the lowest point i ever got to in all those years in school.
thankfully, i didn't fail anything although you can't say my grades are satisfying. oh well. haha.

this year, i decided i have to be more serious and study more.
(although i never really tried studying more, but that's not the point)
so far, i only skipped one class (by "accident", haha) and i really did try to concentrate better in my classes.
i somewhat have a short attention span, and to concentrate in something that is not interesting to me, like.. oh, okay, in biochemistry, it is just murder.

so i try, i do.

anyways.
i turned 20 years old just a couple days ago, on September 16th.

i was at Bandung with my parents and the crew of the culinary TV show my dad is currently hosting.
so right at the midnight of my birthday, they were still shooting an episode.

can't say much about leaving the nineteenth year of my life behind.
i think i made a lot of mistakes throughout last year, some i don't think i'd like to remember at all.
some moments were great though.
like the fact that i passed the worst semester i ever had without failing anything, and actually without studying all that much, was pretty cool. (i'm not proud of it though!)

so.
for the twentieth year of my life, i'd like to:

1. study more because to be a forensic medical doctor would not be easy, and i need to know all i can get in school..

2. read more books, not just all japanese manga..

3. still faithfully collect Baby-Sitters Club books..

4. be more considerate of others..

5. get a good toefl score..

andddd.. that's it for now.


on another topic, eventhough i haven't written stuff for a while, i still like to read other people's blogs.
and i noticed that people tend to have a specific purpose of their blog.
like there's fashion blogs, personal blogs, poetry blogs, art blogs, etc.
i have no idea what the purpose of my blog is.
my mind tends to skip a lot from one thing to another, and i have many different kinds of interests.

but..
i realize that i like to write because it's my way to vent.
maybe other people vent in other ways, like dressing up, making art, making poems, and all that.
but i write.
no matter how useless it looks like.

so.
i don't care if you read this or not.
i like to write, whatever nonsense it is.
hey, i'm 20 now, better do what i like while i still got the chance, right? ;)


by the way, as i write this, the next day will be Lebaran.
as tradition goes, i sincerely apologize for every wrong-doing and mistakes i made this past year.
have a great Lebaran everyone! :)

i want my own Bumblebee..

wah wah wah udah lama ya ga ngisi blog..
lagi ngerasa males sih, pengennya baca2 blog orang aja..

anyways, what compelled me to write again adalah, apalagi kalo bukan Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen..

oke, buat yang berkomentar kalo itu film anak kecil soalnya plot utamanya cuman robot jahat ngelawan robot baik trus robot baik yang menang, just shut up. i still like it! :p

i want my own Bumblebee!!

oh, reviewnya, tentu oke.. cuman pangsanya agak ga jelas, berhubung filmnya kan dari kartun, tentang robot2an, pas liburan sekolah -- kesimpulan: pasti banyak anak kecil yang nonton.
menurut gue kok banyak adegan dewasa yang kayaknya blom pantes ditonton anak kecil deh..
paling itu aja sih kurangnya.

fyi, setiap ada adegan mesra2an Shia LeBaouf (or however it's supposed to be spelled) sama Megan Fox, Ichsan bergidik ngeri gara2 gosip kalo Megan Fox itu transgender.

btw, berkaitan dengan topik tersebut, gue ada cerita!
di suatu siang yang terik, gue yang terkuras tenaganya akibat mengerjakan ujian yang susah, sedang duduk lunglai dalam mobil yang melaju pulang.
tiba2 aja, di daerah jalan juanda depok, sekelebat pemandangan di luar jendela kaca mobil gue membuat gue terhenyak..

gue ngeliat ada 2 cowo, ato tepatnya sih dua PRIA karna keliatan kayak om2, boncengan naik motor. dan yang duduk di belakang, memeluk erat si cowo yang bawa motor, trus dagunya tuh di bahunya yang bawa motor. motornya melaju pelan dan mereka ngobrol sambil liat2an dengan tatapan2 super mesra.

gue yakin itu bukan cuma tipuan mata gue doang.
kemesraan itu bener2 keliatan walau gue cuma sepintas liat di jalan.

yea, well, hak pribadi masing2 orang lah ya mo berhubungan sama siapa seperti apa juga, lagian gue juga pernah liat2 cowo2 yang mesra2 gitu di mall2, tapi entah kenapa liat 2 orang di motor itu bikin gue kaget banget!

mungkin karna pulang2 pusing karna ujian, tapi kenapa pemandangannya malah begitu ya.. hm hm..

some of what i listen to

i like like like listening to music.
there's not a lot that i don't like to hear, except maybe dangdut.
i have no idea why, but i just want to barf listening to it. sorry.

anyways, biasanya kan kalo ada satu album gitu paling lo cuman suka beberapa lagu aja, nah ini beberapa album yang bener2 nyaris semua lagunya gue suka.

oke, emang ga penting banget, tapi gue bosen!
pengen aja nulis2 ga jelas!
*rolling around*

so, first one, album Unplugged-nya The Corrs..

song listnya:
Only When I Sleep,
What Can I Do,
Radio,
Toss The Feathers,
Everybody Hurts,
Dreams,
Runaway,
Forgiven Not Forgotten,
At Your Side,
Little Wing,
No Frontiers,
Queen of Hollywood,
Old Town (This Boy Is Cracking Up),
(Lough) Erin Shore,
So Young.

tadinya gue biasa aja sama ni band, tapi pas denger album ini sukaaaa banget.
semuanya easy listening, aransemennya bagus, mereka berempat ngebagi suaranya pas banget, seimbang. yaa begitulah.

okay, so next, Meteora-nya Linkin Park..

song list:
Foreword,
Don't Stay,
Somewhere I Belong,
Lying From You,
Hit The Floor,
Easier To Run,
Faint,
Figure.09,
Breaking The Habit,
From The Inside,
Nobody's Listening,
Session,
Numb.

ah, keren2.. gue inget banget ni album waktu gue SMP. mungkin triak2nya pas sama teenage angst yang lagi gue rasain, hahahaha. masa muda yang indah.. *???*
waktu study tour kelas 3 SMP ke pangandaran, sepanjang jalan gue dengerin ni album bolak-balik.

nah di masa2 album ini keluar, LP konser di jakarta, dan gue nonton.
i had a blast!!
emang nyaris persis kayak cd-nya gitu sih mereka mainnya, tapi gue tetep puas.
sepupu gue yang nonton konsernya bareng agak heran kok gue apal lagu2nya.
hellooo, jakarta-pangandaran bolak-balik dengerin satu albumnya doang ya jelas apal. hahaha.

next favorite gue, The Place You Have Come To Fear The Most-nya Dashboard Confessional..

song list:
The Brilliant Dance,
Screaming Infidelities,
The Best Deceptions,
This Ruined Puzzle,
Saints And Sailors,
The Good Fight,
Standard Lines,
Again I Go Unnoticed,
The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most,
This Bitter Pill.


pas banget gue dengerin album ini, gue lagi kecewa sama seseorang, jadi soundtrack yang pas. hahahaha. kenapa jadi curhat colongan ya?
kalo lagi seneng, dengerin album ini doesn't work at all. it makes you instantly gloomy.
jadi didengerinnya kalo lagi sedih2 aja.
namanya juga emoh *emo-h-tional*.

next, Tchaikovsky..
i've always liked classical music, tapi gue paling suka Tchaikovsky.

um, album ini ada 4 disc, jadi song listnya agak panjang..

Disc 1:
Swan Lake Ballet Suite: Scene, Waltz, Swan Dance, Scene, Czardas;
Symphony No. 6 "Pathetique": Adagio; Allegro non troppo, Allegro con grazia, Allegro Molto Vivace, Finale; Adagio Lamentoso; Andante.

Disc 2:
1812 Overture,
Andante - Allegro Con anima,
Andante Cantabile Con alcuna, licenza, moderato, con anima,
Valse, Allegro Moderato,
Finale; Andante Maestoso - Allegro Vivace.

Disc 3:
The Nutcracker: Overture, March, Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, Russian Dance, Arabian Dance, Chinese Dance, Dance of the Flutes, Waltz of the Flowers;
Symphony No. 4 In F Minor: Andante sostenuto, Andantino in modo di canzone, Scherzo: Pizzicato, Finale - Allegro con fuoco.

Disc 4:
Cappricio Italien, Op. 45,
Marche Slave, Op. 31,
Hamlet Overture,
Romeo and Juliet, Fantasy Overture.

haahh.. banyakk.
tapi, gue palinggg suka Marche Slave. kalo mau ujian dengerin itu enak banget.
yang ada, pas jawab soal gue terngiang2 lagu itu doang, pelajaran nguap semua, hahaha.

ok, next.. Parachutes-nya Coldplay..

song list:
Don't Panic,
Shiver,
Spies,
Sparks,
Yellow,
Trouble,
Parachutes,
High Speed,
We Never Change,
Everything's Not Lost.

sebelom albumnya Coldplay yang Viva La Vida keluar, ini album mereka favorite gue.
ga tau kenapa, i'm just so attracted to these songs..
bingung mo ngomentarin apa, hehe. aneh emang.


next.. still the same band, Viva La Vida from Coldplay..

song list:
Life In Technicolor,
Cemeteries of London,
Lost!,
42,
Lovers In Japan/Reign of Love,
Yes (hidden: Chinese Sleep Chant),
Viva La Vida,
Violet Hill,
Strawberry Swing,
Death And All His Friends (hidden: The Escapist).

sukaa.. apalagi pas 42 jadi latarnya opening scenenya C.S.I.. pas banget! kayaknya sebelomnya gue pernah ngepost tentang ini..
oh well.


next, We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things by Jason Mraz..

song list:
Make It Mine,
I'm Yours,
Lucky,
Butterfly,
Live High,
Love for a Child,
Details in the Fabric,
Coyotes,
Only Human,
The Dynamo of Volition,
If It Kills Me,
A Beautiful Mess.

waktu dia main di jakarta di java jazz festival, gue nonton dan gue tambah suka. puas banget nontonnya. meskipun rameee. hfff.

udah ah segitu aja. cape. hehe.
i think it's time that i should study.

oh dear, i fear..

tiba2 aja udah minggu2 ujian!!
what happened?
waktu berlari begitu cepat!

tapi tetep aja, gue ga blajar2! =P
now who's fault is that?

please doctor, cure my laziness!

doctor:
oh dear, i fear..
it's not laziness you suffer from, it's stupidness!

42

Those who are dead are not dead

They’re just living in my head

And since I fell for that spell I am living there as well

Oh..

Time is so short and I’m sure

There must be something more

You thought you might be a ghost

You thought you might be a ghost

You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close

You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close

42 - Coldplay

udah punya lagu ini beberapa lama di iTunes gue, tapi kemaren pas nonton C.S.I. season baru, lagu ini jadi lagu pembukanya gitu.

pas banget sm adegannya, orang2 di bis kayak pada pulang kerja, tampang2nya cape. KEREEEENNNN.

skarang gue lagi ngerjain proposal sama tugas PBL (jadi sekretaris, lagi2, hmmff)..

oke, ga kerasa beban sih, ga pengen ngeluh juga, tapi OH MANNNN..

i'm so stumped!!

bener2 lagi ga terinspirasi buat nulis apa2an, masa bikin tujuan di proposal aja gue bingung mo berkata-kata manis macem apa.

akhirnya nyetel iTunes kenceng2 berharap termotivasi, ujung2nya malah browsing ga jelas.

ahhh.. memang hidup ini.. penuh godaan.

besok masuk jam 7 pagi, skarang jam stengah 10 dan gue belom mandi lho.. *nada bangga yg aneh*

padahal rambut udah lengket begini.. *klarifikasi: bukan karna gue jorok, tadi siang emang panas banget!*

doakan tugas2 gue selesai yaaaa..

*pergi ke pojokan dan nangis merenungi nasib*

lagi2 racauan aneh

hmm.. blog ini sempet ditelantarkan untuk sementara, maaf maaf.
not much to say why; let's just say i hit an uninspiring period of my life.

semester 3 gue udah berakhir, sebenernya dengan kurang memuaskan sih, mehehehe.
i felt like i lost reason of being there and trying.
jadi usaha gue setengah2 gitu.
moga2 sih semester 4 kinerja belajar gue (halah) bisa membaik, amin.

pasti ada lah alesan Allah menetapkan nasib gue di jurusan ini, entah apa alesan itu.
so, i shouldn't be complaining.
i just had a rough semester, and i'm moving forward from it.
hopefully better.
HAS to be better.
i gotta DO better.

sigh.

lagian kalo gue ga di jurusan gue yang skarang, mo masuk apaan lagi gue?
seni: jelas2 ga bakat.
ekonomi: HALAH! ini lebih2 ga bakatnya.
fisip: i avoid any future career that my parents were in.
sastra: hello. i couldn't even learn spanish properly. and people say spanish is supposed to be easy if you can do english!
teknik: i so suck at physics!
fmipa: i'm probably only passably good in biology, i suck at the other sciences.

ya ya, gue tau gue slalu bilang kalo cita2 gue jadi ahli forensik, i just didn't thought that i'd have to be a medical doctor first.
tapi orang2 bilang jadi dokter tu kuncinya rajin baca aja, dan baca cepet dan banyak tu mungkin satu2nya bakat yang gue punya, jadi main pede aja gue masuk kedokteran. (gue tau ini alasan yang aneh)

let me tell you something now.

the journey to become a doctor totally sucks!
no pain, no gain, literally!
apaan tuh kalo orang bilang gengsi masuk kedokteran, itu mah buat nyeneng2in dan nyemangatin diri sendiri biar siksaannya ga begitu kerasa. =D
no wonder some doctors lose their compassion along the way, they must've lost it in their educational years.

anyways.

tetep harus semangat!

ga usah mikirin nanti bisa nyelametin nyawa2 orang, yang penting ga DO juga udah cihui!
God, you must have SOME reason you put me here, this is the (probably) right path for me!

semester 4, i'm coming!

but of course i have to take a break.
i appreciate immensely this short vacation.
i get to sleep in!
you know how i hate waking up so early.
and i get to sit around at home doing nothing!
you know how i love doing that.
(ujung2nya tetep setia pada kemalasan)

unimportant updates

yah, berhubung udah lama ya ga aktif di blog ini, mo update apa2 kok jadi males..

since i don't know what else to write, gue update film aja ya..

actually, uda banyak banget film yang gue tonton sejak review terakhir..

but, in tribute to my old friend - laziness - i'll just post about the recent ones..

okay, first one up is Twilight..

biasanya gue ga terlalu suka yang digila-gilai nyaris semua orang, misalnya Harry Potter.

i'm just not interested in fads.

tapi, buat Twilight, gue uda lama tau tentang bukunya, baca sedikit2, sekelumit, berhubung males beli bukunya, mahal, hehehe. well, intinya gue suka.

setelah filmnya uda keluar, gue malah pengen baca buku2nya lagi secara detail..

anyways, since pretty much everybody knows about the movie, gue ga bakal ngomong banyak.

yang jelas, gue suka bukunya, dan surprisingly gue juga suka filmnya.

gue rasa cast-nya uda cukup mewakili apa yang dimaksud pengarangnya di dalam bukunya, dan menurut gue itu yang nomer satu paling penting untuk film adaptasi dari buku.

yang nomer dua terpenting, pemotongan ceritanya.

Twilight the book is loooonngggg.

pasti susah banget buat motong ceritanya, but the movie did a pretty good job, i think.

anyways, when i was browsing for the movie posters, i found several versions..

ini official posternya. maaf ya kalo kegedean, males banget gue ngecilinnya, hehehe. cukup oke lah, kan ceritanya si Bella-nya polos sampe jatuh cinta sama vampir segala, jadi ekspresinya Kristen Stewartnya lumayan mewakili ceritanya lah.

gue ga ngerti ni versi poster dari mana, tapi fotonya bagus.. sayang kurang mewakili ceritanya.

yang ini sebenernya not bad menurut gue, cuman kok penempatan bulan-nya agak aneh dan ganggu ya?

not bad, tapi kurang menjual ga sih?

foto2nya sama, tapi penempatannya lebih baik kan?

yang ini fan-made, i don't think it's bad, it's simple and quite nice.

ohhh.. i like this one.. tapi jadi kayak poster film horror ga sih? tapi gue suka ah.. oh wait, this is also fan-made.. nice one.

kok malah jadi ngomongin poster film twilight ya??? oh well. ngomongin film2 lain di post berikutnya aja ya. gue mo makan dulu. hoho.

here you go

since i know you have a bad case of short term memory, i'll stop reminding you and post it here instead. i know you'll eventually read it here anyways.

so here you go.


1,2 - 1 2 3 4
give me more loving then i've ever had.
make it all better when i'm feeling sad.
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
barely getting mad, i'm so glad i found you.
i love being around you.
you make it easy, as easy as 1 2, (1 2 3 4.)

there's only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words 4 you.
i love you (i love you)
there's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what i'll do.
i love you (i love you)

give me more loving from the very start.
piece me back together when i fall apart.
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
best that i've had, i'm so glad that i found you.
i love being around you.
you make it easy, as easy as 1 2, (1 2 3 4.)

there's only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words 4 you.
i love you (i love you)
there's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what i'll do.
i love you.

"1234 - plain white t's"


nice words, huh?

two g's, two d's and an a

most excruciating feelings ever:

guilt
when you know you've done something wrong, but can't do anything about it.

grief
when you lose something or someone you love so dearly, but can't do anything about it.

depression
when a big, powerful, black hole eat you up from the insides, but you can't do anything about it.

despair
when you feel your whole world crumble into pieces around you, but you can't do anything about it.

anger
when a fiesty fire burns you from the insides, but you don't know where to escape the excruciating heat.


life works in a very odd and unpredictable mechanism.
no one will truly understand where they're going or what's going to happen, no matter how carefully taken or thoroughly thought or planned our steps in life are.
though many people say that life is unfair, i still do think God is fair. life is fair.

no matter how good a person you try to be, bad things still come and do happen to you.
no matter how bad or evil a person you are, good things also happen to you anyways.
so life is fair. everybody gets the same piece of pie.
what happens is, maybe not everybody likes the flavor of the pie.
maybe some just eat half.
maybe some aren't satisfied enough and take another slice of pie.
maybe some don't eat it at all.
but you still get and deserve that piece of pie, whether you want it or not.
you didn't choose to be born and be alive, did you? but you still got life.

now, my piece of pie feels sour. bitter.
that happens whenever one or more of those two g's, two d's and an a show up.

which one of it is what i encountered with these past few horrible days?
you can take a guess.

not that i would tell the answer. ;)

stuck

ya, gue sedang terjebak. terjebak pada kondisi yang tidak menyenangkan.
ternyata pms dan flu bukan kombinasi yang baik, teman-teman. and i learned that the hard way.
setelah kemaren gue berbete ria akibat pengaruh hormonal, sampe bolos praktikum anatomi karna sakit perut, ehhh skarang perutnya oke, idung meler dan batuk2. hiks.
why God, why??? T_T *ampun Tuhan, ga maksud ngeluh kok.. =)*

soo.. what should a girl do in time of despair?

option 1: study
ayod's thought: booooo... this sucks!

option 2: sleep
ayod's thought: ok, i'll do it.

option 3: ponder on why God bestowed this disturbing illness upon me, and therefore pray for forgiveness
ayod's thought: okay God, of course i'll pray to You whether i'm sick or not.

option 4: read endless comics online
ayod's thought: done!

option 5: ??
ayod's thought: any suggestions, anyone?

after a break

wah udah lama ya ga gue update ni blog. hehe.
atas break sebentar untuk blog ini, gue ga bisa beralasan apa2 selain bahwa ini terjadi karena multifaktor: kemalasan lah, sibuk kuliah lah (padahal gitu2 doang), modem gue kesamber geledek lah (ini beneran terjadi loh)..

sampai akhirnya jumat kemaren gue selesai ujian blok darah - sistem limfatik, dan skarang gue ga ada kerjaan lagi, akhirnya nulis lagi, mehehehehe. (alasan yang payah)

padahal sebenernya banyak sih yang bisa diceritain, apalagi kuliah blok hematop (panggilan sayang buat pelajaran tentang darah).

misalnya aja, kalo praktikum patologi klinik (PK) tu butuh sampel darah, nah itu diambil dari kita2 juga, jadi tusuk2an deh antar temen buat ambil darah, sekalian blajar cara nyuntik yang bener.
ada juga percobaan ngukur masa perdarahan, caranya lengan temen ditahan pake pompa tensi sampe 40mmHg trus tusuk2 deh lengannya sampe berdarah. seru yah! (senyum iblis)

sebenernya gue bingung mau nulis apa skarang.
mau review film, uda banyak banget yang gue tonton sejak terakhir update blog..
mau curhat-curhat tentang kuliah yang seru sekaligus membosankan, males..

ehhhh Tuhan memang Maha Tahu, tiba2 gue dikasih pe-er dari Sekar..
oke deh, gue kerjain..

disini gue harus tulis 10 hal tentang gue dan melemparnya ke orang2 lain.. hm hm..


okay.. about ayodya:

1. kemana-mana bawa jurnal
jurnal gue berbentuk notebook yang halamannya polos bikinan morning glory harganya 13rb klo ga salah (lengkap kan), sebenernya sketch book kali yah, cuma berhubung gue ga bisa gambar, akhirnya buat jurnal.
tentang isi jurnalnya.. yaaa suka2 gue.
kadang cuman curhatan, makian, lagu, gambar (yang kayak gambarnya anak tk)..
kadang kolaborasi sama temen2 gue di sela kelas..
i doodle anything i want in my journal.

suatu hari nanti akan gue turunkan jurnal2 gue yang uda lumayan numpuk ke suami dan anak2 gue.. (ngapain, isinya kbanyakan sampah) mehehehehehe.

2. a very bad procrastinator
gue sering menunda-nunda sesuatu. pengen deh berubah tapi males bener. hehehehe.
kayaknya kalo mepet tuh malah jadi lebih semangat trus inspirasi buat tugas lebih oke gitu. (mengada-ada alasan)

3. tergila-gila rambutan dan jeruk bali
gue bisa abis berbaskom-baskom makan ginian..
sebenernya gue suka makan buah apa aja, KECUALI duren dan alpukat. ugh.

4. ga terlalu suka makan daging
biasanya yang tau cuman kluarga dan temen2 deket gue aja.
gue makan banyak tapi sebenernya gue ga terlalu suka makan daging, khususnya ayam.
kalo makan daging pun gue ga bisa banyak2.
gue cuman suka daging kalo di lasagna (makanan favorit gue!), bistik bikinan nyokap gue, pizza. udah.
sisanya, kalo gue makan bakso, sate, itu sebenernya karna terpaksa aja. hehe.

5. suka chatting sama pacar dan kakak
Ichsan Diaz is the cutest being that ever lived and i don't want to hear any nonsense that say otherwise. hahahaha. banyak kesamaan dan banyak juga perbedaan gue sama dia, so it's always fun to talk to him and he always has something interesting to say.
ah kalo giliran gini aja gue bagus2 ngomong tentang dia, kalo kesel gue tonjok2in. hahaha.
sementara, my older brother is really really smart but weird at the same time, so it's always fun and interesting to talk with him too.

6. suka gerak tapi pemalas
nah lo, bingung ga tuh. gue suka gerak and do outdoor things, tapi gue juga sering males ngapa2in. hehehe. yaaa kayak gue suka karate, tapi gue males perginya buat latian di dojo. hehe.

7. suka seni tapi ga bakat
gue tau gue skarang lagi kuliah buat jadi dokter, trus ntar pengennya jadi dokter forensik. tapi sebenernya kalo gue diberkahi dengan bakat seni, gue pasti bakal lebih milih buat ngelukis, jadi fotografer, design something, main piano dan violin, koki pastry dan jadi tukang review film. tapi Tuhan memberi gue bakat yang lain, entah itu apa itu, sampe akhirnya skarang gue terseret arus kehidupan tiba2 jadi calon dokter (moga2, amin).

8. ga bisa belanja baju
duh gue bener2 ga bakat buat belanja baju. harus ditemenin. khususnya nyokap dan temen2 cewe. kalo ga gue bener2 ga pede buat beli baju sendiri. kebanyakan baju gue dipilihin nyokap, ato kalo beli sendiri itu dipilihan temen2. payah ya. hehehe.
apalagi kalo pake nawar2, aduh nyerah gue.
entah apa jadinya gue sebagai ibu rumah tangga. mehehehe.

9. suka bau rumah sakit dan supermarket
entah kenapa gue suka aja. bikin tenang.
aneh ya? bodo ah.

10. tahan begadang tapi tahan tidur juga
gue tahan begadang berhari-hari, tapi bisa juga gue tidur sampe 15 jam ato lebih (kayak mati suri). sleep cycle gue se-moody gue. hehe.


sebenernya masih banyak sih, tapi yaudahlah, cuman disuruh 10. hehe.
ok, pe-er ini akan gue lempar ke:
1. kakak Nita
2. mas Suryo
3. Meizy
4. Ary Inyong
5. Dian Dhay

udah ah ga usah banyak2. =D

lousy lazy

i have no idea why am i so.. lazy to write anything lately.
i bring a journal almost everywhere i go (yeah whatever, my secret's out), and i doodle in it a lot, especially in class. (well it's better than sleeping in class. at least i'm listening to the lecture.) but i don't write anything particularly important in it.

i have no idea why my recent posts are in english a lot, i guess i just ramble easier in english.

i have no idea why i can never concentrate enough in my classes..
well i do concentrate, mind you, for a good hour in the beginning. but as classes progress i seem to lose interest.
i can never understand why my campus can schedule classes from 7 to 11.30 am straight without any break.
because i, for one, just can't keep up with it.
i'm not complaining that it makes me tired, i just feel that it's not effective for me who has an incredibly short-attention span.

i have no idea why i can never study even when some freakin important exam is just around the corner.

i have no idea why i can lounge in bed for hours doing nothing.

i have no idea why i can have not-particularly-important conversations and just laugh on ourselves for hours with him.

i have no idea why i can't get myself to thoroughly read all those thick textbooks and slides i have, while i can actually devour dozens of comics or BSC books less than a day.

but i accept all these facts of my lousy laziness, however appalling they seem.
i really do try to change. and it's not like i do all that all freaking 24 hours of my day.
and it's not like i don't do anything else worthwhile.

i watch a lot of movies. and i don't cut class to do so. and i write the reviews too (although obviously some late. whatever.)

i join in my friends for study group sessions, eventhough i sleep through most of it. whatever. i can't help myself. i'm human, i have flaws.


whatever.
i'll go back to sleep now.
hff.

some late reviews

so this past week i've been swamped with exams, though not posting doesn't mean i'm busy studying. *smirk*

anyways, sejak terakhir ngepost, ada beberapa film lain yang uda gue tonton...

first up, Suami-Suami Takut Istri the movie..

duh gue sampe lupa, kenapa ya waktu itu gue sama Ichsan nonton film ini..

we watched it anyway dan kesan gue..

garing ah..

agak ngebosenin nontonnya..
kalo film Indonesia entah kenapa gue ga bisa ngasih rating bintang2 ato apalah.. sigh.

next, Planet B-boy..

film ini kayak documenter gitu tentang break dancers dan perjuangan2 mereka buat ikutan Battle of The Year, pertandingan antar crew paling bergengsi di seluruh dunia gitu.

focus filmnya sih cuman ke tim dari Jepang, South Korea, USA, France, sama Jerman. high point: pas pertandingannya! sumpah, keren2 banget!!

okay, next, Doa Yang Mengancam..

yang ini juga ngebosenin.. hff.. kalo kata Ichsan, entah kenapa rasanya ada yang ngeganjel di filmnya.. ga tau kenapa janggal aja.

next up, senin gue mo nonton Eagle Eye sama Ichsan dan nyokap.. doakan saja bagus ya! but i do really like Shia LeBeouf..! so i don't think the movie really matters. =D