what friends are for

well, ga kerasa udah 3 tahun kuliah, never thought that things could change a lot in 3 years.
khususnya di departemen pertemanan.

dari awalll banget kuliah, gue punya sekelompok temen deket yang selalu bareng2.
seiring berjalannya waktu sampe akhirnya di tahun ketiga ini, banyak yang berubah di kelompok ini.
ada yang dateng, ada yang pergi, ada yang udah pergi tapi balik lagi, dll.

gue merasa teman2 ini lah yang bakal bertahan, suka ato ga, karna mau ga mau kita bakalan satu profesi. kita akan terikat dengan pekerjaan yang sama sampai tua nanti. kita akan saling membutuhkan pendapat yang lain kalo ketemu kasus yang butuh second opinion.
jadi, gue jaga hubungan baik sebisa mungkin. i always try to be nice.

but then, pelan2, muncul sifat asli masing2.
ada yang berubah jd lebih baik, ada yang stagnan sifatnya begitu2 aja.

belakangan ini, pelan-pelan kebersamaan dlm kelompok ini jadi berubah dibanding tahun2 pertama kuliah..
banyak yang sibuk sama kegiatan masing2 yang udah beda2,
ada yang konflik sama temen dlm kelompok ini juga,
ada yang baru gabung,
ada yang pisah,
dll.

but personally, i don't think that it's a bad thing.
justru waktu yang udah lewat ini, dengan berbagai persoalan yang ada, nunjukkin mana yang bener2 teman dan mana yang, well, temen juga sih judulnya, tapi ikatan emosionalnya ga seberapa dalam.
we were all giggly teenagers when we met, and we've all grown up now, jadi seiring tambah dewasa pasti kepribadian kita juga ikut berubah, yang pengaruh ke hubungan kita sama orang lain, apalagi temen.

jujur, gue merasa masih ada temen2 yang berteman masih sama aja kayak dulu waktu sekolah, mau udah kuliah 3 tahun juga.
kalo ada konflik, ngajak2 orang lain buat ikut musuhin.
kalo temen punya konflik sama orang lain, ngompor2in temen itu buat makin musuhan.
kalo ada masalah, kurang bisa milah2 mana yang emang harus diperkarakan dan mana yang harus dilepas aja.
and i'm fed up with that.

apa teman itu cuma orang buat have fun bareng, dan kalo orang itu udah ga bikin fun, ya ga jadi temen?
buat gue, bukan itu artinya.

and so, to avoid all the drama that has happened, i came up with a simple rule for myself.
selama seorang 'teman' ga punya masalah secara pribadi sama gue, i will always stay nice.
i will always help as i can if they need me.
meskipun orang itu musuhan sama temen gue yang lain.
meskipun orang2 bilang temen gue itu bermasalah, bilang gue untuk jauhin dia, dsb.
selama dia ga buat masalah ke gue secara langsung, gue akan berbuat yang sama.
fair-fair-an aja.

if all else fails, yang penting gue tau yang mana yang bener2 temen gue.
and they know who they are.

what friends are for, for me, is an extension of your family.
people who will accept you and help you back up again, how badly you've acted to them or fell.
people who doesn't think of what they can get back by helping you.
people who stand by you but still keeps you in line.
yang lain dari itu, well, they're still called friends.
like in families, it doesn't mean you have to like each and every one of your family members all the time.
sama, walau namanya temen, it doesn't mean you have to like each and every one of them all the time.
liking them most of the time is good enough to be friends for me.

what do friends mean to you?

a cat called Maru

i realized that even though i haven't updated my blog that much, i still love reading other people's blogs, so this is my attempt to keep this blogging thing up and running.

because i am a boring person, and therefore have nothing interesting to talk about, i will talk about another being, a more interesting one.
a cat, to be exact. (i didn't mean that to rhyme, really.)

my family has a cat. a fat, gray, one we named Maru, which is japanese for 'round'. because he looked like a cute cotton ball when he was an itsy, bitsy kitten.
we got him from my cousin's boyfriend, when he was only 2 months old.
now he's about 7 months old, i can't really remember, but he's bigger and fatter than a 1,5 year old cat.

he struts around the house like he owns us all, which i guess in a way he really does, because despite all the annoying things he's done (like, peeing all over the place), we still love him. most of the time.

here's an example of how Maru acts when i confront him of his disturbing doings.

"ugh, these humans! i just can't stand them!"
(shakes head in frustration)

"what now, stupid human?
how dare you stand like that in front of me!
bow to my greatness!"

"good, human. much better.
now, what is it that you want?
a treat for me, i assume?
no? you're asking me if i peed on that pillow?
hmmm.. let me think about it."

"obviously i am of complete innocence.
maybe YOU are the one who peed on that pillow.
i'm bored now, go away.
stupid human."

you can see, arrogant he may be, we cannot help but fall weakly to his amazing power of cuteness.
i have a lot of weird stories about Maru, more to come.
i have to post this before he finds out and then i'll have to give him kitty massages in slavery for the rest of my life.

a lot of junk in the trunk

i haven't written anything in this blog for so long!!
i know, i'm such a lazy bum.
i actually do have a whole lot of things to write, but i'm currently in exams week, so this'll have to wait a couple more days.
i'll see you really really soon! i promise!

the big two-oh

well well well. long time no see, eh?
sorry i neglected this blog for a while, hehe.
i decided to jump back in to blogging.
because these past time when i wasn't blogging, things were crazy.
and i mean, CRAZY.

last semester of med school was hell.
it was probably the lowest point i ever got to in all those years in school.
thankfully, i didn't fail anything although you can't say my grades are satisfying. oh well. haha.

this year, i decided i have to be more serious and study more.
(although i never really tried studying more, but that's not the point)
so far, i only skipped one class (by "accident", haha) and i really did try to concentrate better in my classes.
i somewhat have a short attention span, and to concentrate in something that is not interesting to me, like.. oh, okay, in biochemistry, it is just murder.

so i try, i do.

anyways.
i turned 20 years old just a couple days ago, on September 16th.

i was at Bandung with my parents and the crew of the culinary TV show my dad is currently hosting.
so right at the midnight of my birthday, they were still shooting an episode.

can't say much about leaving the nineteenth year of my life behind.
i think i made a lot of mistakes throughout last year, some i don't think i'd like to remember at all.
some moments were great though.
like the fact that i passed the worst semester i ever had without failing anything, and actually without studying all that much, was pretty cool. (i'm not proud of it though!)

so.
for the twentieth year of my life, i'd like to:

1. study more because to be a forensic medical doctor would not be easy, and i need to know all i can get in school..

2. read more books, not just all japanese manga..

3. still faithfully collect Baby-Sitters Club books..

4. be more considerate of others..

5. get a good toefl score..

andddd.. that's it for now.


on another topic, eventhough i haven't written stuff for a while, i still like to read other people's blogs.
and i noticed that people tend to have a specific purpose of their blog.
like there's fashion blogs, personal blogs, poetry blogs, art blogs, etc.
i have no idea what the purpose of my blog is.
my mind tends to skip a lot from one thing to another, and i have many different kinds of interests.

but..
i realize that i like to write because it's my way to vent.
maybe other people vent in other ways, like dressing up, making art, making poems, and all that.
but i write.
no matter how useless it looks like.

so.
i don't care if you read this or not.
i like to write, whatever nonsense it is.
hey, i'm 20 now, better do what i like while i still got the chance, right? ;)


by the way, as i write this, the next day will be Lebaran.
as tradition goes, i sincerely apologize for every wrong-doing and mistakes i made this past year.
have a great Lebaran everyone! :)

i want my own Bumblebee..

wah wah wah udah lama ya ga ngisi blog..
lagi ngerasa males sih, pengennya baca2 blog orang aja..

anyways, what compelled me to write again adalah, apalagi kalo bukan Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen..

oke, buat yang berkomentar kalo itu film anak kecil soalnya plot utamanya cuman robot jahat ngelawan robot baik trus robot baik yang menang, just shut up. i still like it! :p

i want my own Bumblebee!!

oh, reviewnya, tentu oke.. cuman pangsanya agak ga jelas, berhubung filmnya kan dari kartun, tentang robot2an, pas liburan sekolah -- kesimpulan: pasti banyak anak kecil yang nonton.
menurut gue kok banyak adegan dewasa yang kayaknya blom pantes ditonton anak kecil deh..
paling itu aja sih kurangnya.

fyi, setiap ada adegan mesra2an Shia LeBaouf (or however it's supposed to be spelled) sama Megan Fox, Ichsan bergidik ngeri gara2 gosip kalo Megan Fox itu transgender.

btw, berkaitan dengan topik tersebut, gue ada cerita!
di suatu siang yang terik, gue yang terkuras tenaganya akibat mengerjakan ujian yang susah, sedang duduk lunglai dalam mobil yang melaju pulang.
tiba2 aja, di daerah jalan juanda depok, sekelebat pemandangan di luar jendela kaca mobil gue membuat gue terhenyak..

gue ngeliat ada 2 cowo, ato tepatnya sih dua PRIA karna keliatan kayak om2, boncengan naik motor. dan yang duduk di belakang, memeluk erat si cowo yang bawa motor, trus dagunya tuh di bahunya yang bawa motor. motornya melaju pelan dan mereka ngobrol sambil liat2an dengan tatapan2 super mesra.

gue yakin itu bukan cuma tipuan mata gue doang.
kemesraan itu bener2 keliatan walau gue cuma sepintas liat di jalan.

yea, well, hak pribadi masing2 orang lah ya mo berhubungan sama siapa seperti apa juga, lagian gue juga pernah liat2 cowo2 yang mesra2 gitu di mall2, tapi entah kenapa liat 2 orang di motor itu bikin gue kaget banget!

mungkin karna pulang2 pusing karna ujian, tapi kenapa pemandangannya malah begitu ya.. hm hm..

some of what i listen to

i like like like listening to music.
there's not a lot that i don't like to hear, except maybe dangdut.
i have no idea why, but i just want to barf listening to it. sorry.

anyways, biasanya kan kalo ada satu album gitu paling lo cuman suka beberapa lagu aja, nah ini beberapa album yang bener2 nyaris semua lagunya gue suka.

oke, emang ga penting banget, tapi gue bosen!
pengen aja nulis2 ga jelas!
*rolling around*

so, first one, album Unplugged-nya The Corrs..

song listnya:
Only When I Sleep,
What Can I Do,
Radio,
Toss The Feathers,
Everybody Hurts,
Dreams,
Runaway,
Forgiven Not Forgotten,
At Your Side,
Little Wing,
No Frontiers,
Queen of Hollywood,
Old Town (This Boy Is Cracking Up),
(Lough) Erin Shore,
So Young.

tadinya gue biasa aja sama ni band, tapi pas denger album ini sukaaaa banget.
semuanya easy listening, aransemennya bagus, mereka berempat ngebagi suaranya pas banget, seimbang. yaa begitulah.

okay, so next, Meteora-nya Linkin Park..

song list:
Foreword,
Don't Stay,
Somewhere I Belong,
Lying From You,
Hit The Floor,
Easier To Run,
Faint,
Figure.09,
Breaking The Habit,
From The Inside,
Nobody's Listening,
Session,
Numb.

ah, keren2.. gue inget banget ni album waktu gue SMP. mungkin triak2nya pas sama teenage angst yang lagi gue rasain, hahahaha. masa muda yang indah.. *???*
waktu study tour kelas 3 SMP ke pangandaran, sepanjang jalan gue dengerin ni album bolak-balik.

nah di masa2 album ini keluar, LP konser di jakarta, dan gue nonton.
i had a blast!!
emang nyaris persis kayak cd-nya gitu sih mereka mainnya, tapi gue tetep puas.
sepupu gue yang nonton konsernya bareng agak heran kok gue apal lagu2nya.
hellooo, jakarta-pangandaran bolak-balik dengerin satu albumnya doang ya jelas apal. hahaha.

next favorite gue, The Place You Have Come To Fear The Most-nya Dashboard Confessional..

song list:
The Brilliant Dance,
Screaming Infidelities,
The Best Deceptions,
This Ruined Puzzle,
Saints And Sailors,
The Good Fight,
Standard Lines,
Again I Go Unnoticed,
The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most,
This Bitter Pill.


pas banget gue dengerin album ini, gue lagi kecewa sama seseorang, jadi soundtrack yang pas. hahahaha. kenapa jadi curhat colongan ya?
kalo lagi seneng, dengerin album ini doesn't work at all. it makes you instantly gloomy.
jadi didengerinnya kalo lagi sedih2 aja.
namanya juga emoh *emo-h-tional*.

next, Tchaikovsky..
i've always liked classical music, tapi gue paling suka Tchaikovsky.

um, album ini ada 4 disc, jadi song listnya agak panjang..

Disc 1:
Swan Lake Ballet Suite: Scene, Waltz, Swan Dance, Scene, Czardas;
Symphony No. 6 "Pathetique": Adagio; Allegro non troppo, Allegro con grazia, Allegro Molto Vivace, Finale; Adagio Lamentoso; Andante.

Disc 2:
1812 Overture,
Andante - Allegro Con anima,
Andante Cantabile Con alcuna, licenza, moderato, con anima,
Valse, Allegro Moderato,
Finale; Andante Maestoso - Allegro Vivace.

Disc 3:
The Nutcracker: Overture, March, Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, Russian Dance, Arabian Dance, Chinese Dance, Dance of the Flutes, Waltz of the Flowers;
Symphony No. 4 In F Minor: Andante sostenuto, Andantino in modo di canzone, Scherzo: Pizzicato, Finale - Allegro con fuoco.

Disc 4:
Cappricio Italien, Op. 45,
Marche Slave, Op. 31,
Hamlet Overture,
Romeo and Juliet, Fantasy Overture.

haahh.. banyakk.
tapi, gue palinggg suka Marche Slave. kalo mau ujian dengerin itu enak banget.
yang ada, pas jawab soal gue terngiang2 lagu itu doang, pelajaran nguap semua, hahaha.

ok, next.. Parachutes-nya Coldplay..

song list:
Don't Panic,
Shiver,
Spies,
Sparks,
Yellow,
Trouble,
Parachutes,
High Speed,
We Never Change,
Everything's Not Lost.

sebelom albumnya Coldplay yang Viva La Vida keluar, ini album mereka favorite gue.
ga tau kenapa, i'm just so attracted to these songs..
bingung mo ngomentarin apa, hehe. aneh emang.


next.. still the same band, Viva La Vida from Coldplay..

song list:
Life In Technicolor,
Cemeteries of London,
Lost!,
42,
Lovers In Japan/Reign of Love,
Yes (hidden: Chinese Sleep Chant),
Viva La Vida,
Violet Hill,
Strawberry Swing,
Death And All His Friends (hidden: The Escapist).

sukaa.. apalagi pas 42 jadi latarnya opening scenenya C.S.I.. pas banget! kayaknya sebelomnya gue pernah ngepost tentang ini..
oh well.


next, We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things by Jason Mraz..

song list:
Make It Mine,
I'm Yours,
Lucky,
Butterfly,
Live High,
Love for a Child,
Details in the Fabric,
Coyotes,
Only Human,
The Dynamo of Volition,
If It Kills Me,
A Beautiful Mess.

waktu dia main di jakarta di java jazz festival, gue nonton dan gue tambah suka. puas banget nontonnya. meskipun rameee. hfff.

udah ah segitu aja. cape. hehe.
i think it's time that i should study.

oh dear, i fear..

tiba2 aja udah minggu2 ujian!!
what happened?
waktu berlari begitu cepat!

tapi tetep aja, gue ga blajar2! =P
now who's fault is that?

please doctor, cure my laziness!

doctor:
oh dear, i fear..
it's not laziness you suffer from, it's stupidness!

42

Those who are dead are not dead

They’re just living in my head

And since I fell for that spell I am living there as well

Oh..

Time is so short and I’m sure

There must be something more

You thought you might be a ghost

You thought you might be a ghost

You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close

You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close

42 - Coldplay

udah punya lagu ini beberapa lama di iTunes gue, tapi kemaren pas nonton C.S.I. season baru, lagu ini jadi lagu pembukanya gitu.

pas banget sm adegannya, orang2 di bis kayak pada pulang kerja, tampang2nya cape. KEREEEENNNN.

skarang gue lagi ngerjain proposal sama tugas PBL (jadi sekretaris, lagi2, hmmff)..

oke, ga kerasa beban sih, ga pengen ngeluh juga, tapi OH MANNNN..

i'm so stumped!!

bener2 lagi ga terinspirasi buat nulis apa2an, masa bikin tujuan di proposal aja gue bingung mo berkata-kata manis macem apa.

akhirnya nyetel iTunes kenceng2 berharap termotivasi, ujung2nya malah browsing ga jelas.

ahhh.. memang hidup ini.. penuh godaan.

besok masuk jam 7 pagi, skarang jam stengah 10 dan gue belom mandi lho.. *nada bangga yg aneh*

padahal rambut udah lengket begini.. *klarifikasi: bukan karna gue jorok, tadi siang emang panas banget!*

doakan tugas2 gue selesai yaaaa..

*pergi ke pojokan dan nangis merenungi nasib*

lagi2 racauan aneh

hmm.. blog ini sempet ditelantarkan untuk sementara, maaf maaf.
not much to say why; let's just say i hit an uninspiring period of my life.

semester 3 gue udah berakhir, sebenernya dengan kurang memuaskan sih, mehehehe.
i felt like i lost reason of being there and trying.
jadi usaha gue setengah2 gitu.
moga2 sih semester 4 kinerja belajar gue (halah) bisa membaik, amin.

pasti ada lah alesan Allah menetapkan nasib gue di jurusan ini, entah apa alesan itu.
so, i shouldn't be complaining.
i just had a rough semester, and i'm moving forward from it.
hopefully better.
HAS to be better.
i gotta DO better.

sigh.

lagian kalo gue ga di jurusan gue yang skarang, mo masuk apaan lagi gue?
seni: jelas2 ga bakat.
ekonomi: HALAH! ini lebih2 ga bakatnya.
fisip: i avoid any future career that my parents were in.
sastra: hello. i couldn't even learn spanish properly. and people say spanish is supposed to be easy if you can do english!
teknik: i so suck at physics!
fmipa: i'm probably only passably good in biology, i suck at the other sciences.

ya ya, gue tau gue slalu bilang kalo cita2 gue jadi ahli forensik, i just didn't thought that i'd have to be a medical doctor first.
tapi orang2 bilang jadi dokter tu kuncinya rajin baca aja, dan baca cepet dan banyak tu mungkin satu2nya bakat yang gue punya, jadi main pede aja gue masuk kedokteran. (gue tau ini alasan yang aneh)

let me tell you something now.

the journey to become a doctor totally sucks!
no pain, no gain, literally!
apaan tuh kalo orang bilang gengsi masuk kedokteran, itu mah buat nyeneng2in dan nyemangatin diri sendiri biar siksaannya ga begitu kerasa. =D
no wonder some doctors lose their compassion along the way, they must've lost it in their educational years.

anyways.

tetep harus semangat!

ga usah mikirin nanti bisa nyelametin nyawa2 orang, yang penting ga DO juga udah cihui!
God, you must have SOME reason you put me here, this is the (probably) right path for me!

semester 4, i'm coming!

but of course i have to take a break.
i appreciate immensely this short vacation.
i get to sleep in!
you know how i hate waking up so early.
and i get to sit around at home doing nothing!
you know how i love doing that.
(ujung2nya tetep setia pada kemalasan)